10 Funny Things that Doctors Have to Hear

Written by Pliro
Aug 11, 2016 Last updated: Mar 29, 2019

A visit to the doctor can be a daunting task due to the possibility of unwanted news or health complications, which is why a majority of the people in Pakistan like to avoid these trips as much as possible. They justify their cowardice by stating “God will take care of us”, not realizing that doctors might just be an answer to their prayers by God Himself. However, not all trips to the doctor are as serious as people think they might be. Let’s look at the lighter side of this business by viewing some of the funniest things that people have said and continue to say to doctors.

  • “When you use the teeka (injection) on me, please be sure that it doesn’t sting” – anonymous
    Sure, why don’t we just keep pressing the artery for ages, maybe that will help draw the blood out
  • “I lay in bed all day because I was worried as to why my weight won’t go down” anonymous
    Maybe you should worry while running or jogging
  • “It was such a nice rainy day so we decided to go for some Butt Karahi. Now I’m feeling a little uneasy, what should I do?” – anonymous
    Find a hobby as soon as the weather or any other thing in your life makes the slightest shift
  • “Having a doctor as a bahu (daughter in law) must be so wonderful! Free health services right at home” – anonymous aunty
    Yes. Because becoming a daughter in law automatically connotes staying home forever and not getting paid even then
  • “My daughter did her undergrad in journalism from Columbia”
    “My son is a doctor”
    “Oh that’s nice! Where did he go?”
    “He is a doctor.”
    – anonymous rishta aunties
  • “Oh doctor please help me, I feel like I might have a nervous breakdown any time soon”
    “Why what’s the matter?”
    “My son won’t get married” – yet another anonymous aunty
    Yes that is just the worst.
  • “Doctor, could you please take my husband to the other room, I think he might faint” – anonymous wife who is in the labor room
    Sure, he’ll be fine once the baby is out. “I don’t know why this mark won’t go away”
    “When did you get it”
    “I don’t know, it’s a birthmark” – anonymous
    Almost the same way your nose won’t go away
  • “Doctor I’m here because I trust you, but my back ache just won’t go away”
    “Did you take your medicine?”
    “No I don’t believe in medicine” – anonymous
    That’s a pretty smart insult actually
  • “I went to see the doctor yesterday. Then I came back”
    “Well what happened?”
    “He was short, had brown hair and small hands” – anonymous
    Well at least I know you weren’t lying

Despite everything, one should always prefer going to doctor in case of severe illness.